Things I’ve Learned
As you may or may not have noticed, I’ve been a little MIA this week. Here are some things I’ve learned while drinkin and dronin’ :
1) Girls are ruthless. Fake bitches will always be fake bitches and don’t let them fool you.
2) I’ve kept my moto, I’ve done without you for 26 years, who gives–not I. Don’t think I won’t write you off.
3) The guys were right when they called you bi-polar. You’re obviously beyond crazy.
4) Alcohol and xanax is my friend.
5) Good friends will fill your belly soo full of good food that you cant sit up straight.
6) Good friends don’t care about talking about each other’s poo.
7) Really good friends pick you up from the dive bar after you’ve been drinking alone the whole afternoon and can’t stand up straight. Thanks for getting my lost glove too.
8 ) Animals know when you’re down and out, thanks Tank for NOT sharing the bed but instead inching me off the mattress.
9) Bartenders who serve me 3.5 parts vodka and 0.5 parts club soda will get you drunk and will be paid greatly.
10) I believe in karma. I believe that what goes around does come back around. I believe in the greater good and not just the porcelain god. I believe those who truly have it coming to them, it will come. If you have to justify yourself, then there may just be some sorta good in you for feeling guilty, obviously you’ve done wrong. If you don’t feel guilty, then I pity you.
